Writing ( rephrase ) and correction ?

Introduction

porpularity ( noun form)
This diagram depicts changes in the popularity of sw     from between year 1983 to year 2003.


conclusion ( မတူတဲ႕   language of change ကို ခြဲ ပါ)

Overall (To sum up )  ,participation in swimming , team sports , gym activities 9 dropped considerably during the


Remain stable ( ေၿပာ လို႕ မရ ဘူး သူႈ ဂ ရပ္ မွာ တက္ လိုက ္ က ် လိုက္ ၿဖစ္ ေန ေသ းတယ္  )
remain popular (လို႕ ေတာ႕ ေၿပာ လို႕ ရ တယ္ )
over the period ( during the period ) its stating the 20 years


while , (wheres)  two item different ၿဖစ္ ေန ရင္  while ကို သုံး ( S1 +V+ O , while (whereas ) S2 V+ V)
however ,( nevertheless/)

swimming had the lowest participation of 
sample တုန္း က  comperative ကို သုံးထား တယ္ ( lower than ) in other way you can use  (less popular than other activities )

The rate of participation

main point  ( cannot be the same with comparison and change of language)


စမွတ္ မွာ verb ( participated ) swimming
example : around 50% of swimming

swimming is the least 

However

This figure (ဒီ ၅၀% ကို ၿပန္ ရည္ ညြန္း တယ္ ) ။

ခုနွစ္ နွင္ ့ရာ ခိုင္ နွုန္ း နွစ္  ခု လုံး တြဲ ေဖာ္  ၿပ ရ ပါ မယ္ ။

sequencer
before
after
In contrast, 32 % of members did team sports in 1983 ,and this rate 3 stood at / reached a peak of 40 % in 1998 before

former level ( previous level ) 
stood at  (only )(merelyသာလွ ်င္ ) သုံးထား ဂဏန္ းနဲ႕ တဲ႕ အခါ သုံး

But ( this figure / this rate / this level ) 

, eventually ( leveling, making ) စာေၾကာင္း နွစ္ ေၾကာင္ းဆက္ မယ္ ဆို ရင္ အလြယ္ မ်ား ေသာ အာ ၿဖင့္ and နဲ႕ ဆက္ 

same subject
s1 + v+ o ving +
s1 + v+0 and s1 +v+ 0   ( same subject)

sequences ၿဖစ္ စဥ္ ေတြမွာ သုံး

and နဲ႕ ဆက္ compound sentence
v+ing နဲ ႕ ဆက္ complex sentences
linking words  


sentence structure
complex sentences : Linking words except /and /but /so
after which/followed by/


However ( simple sentence )
complex (relative clause ) which
verb ing


introduction
subject and object only one pair
main subject is this graph
show + object
swimming ..
first . sentences ( sample or complex)
connect with so  (compound sentence)
connect with and ( compound )
before / after + ving structure ( complex )
gym activity  only one . (compound and complex sentences )
compound +ving ခံလိုက္ ရင္ complex ၿဖစ္သြား
simple