Feeling (copy from jojo blog)

 

FEELINGS (copy from JoJo blog)

For me it’s super hard to express my feelings and it makes me feel vulnerable when I tell someone how I feel or what I’m feeling. Feelings are hard for me. To me they are weakness, and whether I like it or not I cry when I tell my feelings. Why? Cause my emotions are powerful. Not cause I’m a girl but cause when I feel for something I feel with my entire being. It’s suffocating honestly. It might be over something simple and I’ll cry. So when I tell someone my feelings and they tell me I’m not feeling that .. well it pisses me off. Don’t take my tears for weakness. Listen to what I’m saying, and not what I’m doing while doing it. And definitely don’t tell me I’m not feeling a type of way. Cause you ain’t me and I ain’t dealing with that bullshit. 

Now I am not saying that feelings are a bad thing. When it comes to my case I hate confrontation on my feelings. I keep to myself during situations because I’m an observer not a take action person. So when I’m asked how someone made me feel, or how I’m feeling I get scared. Not scared of the person but of my feelings. I hate the feeling of telling my feelings. The words make my throat close shut and I start to cry. Why? Cause I see feelings as a weakness. When you tell someone how they make/made you feel they now have a power over you. They can either use those feelings against you or tell others. I have experienced to many cases for both those reasons. 

So if I’m telling you my feelings, or someone else is. Don’t take that for granted. Don’t make them feel weak, and don’t use it against them. Feelings are powerful. When emotions runs someone’s life it’s hard for them to realize what others may be feeling because they aren’t used to showing their emotions so openly. That’s why I laugh/joke a lot. It’s my way of coping.